He’s been in and out of my life since I was 10 yrs old. I love him and he’s never treated me bad. He just couldn’t help out financially. So my mom bad mouthed him for years and years. Sort of brainwashed us into thinking he was this horrible person because he couldn’t afford the child support.
Our relationship goes in these spurts, there will be a few months where I’m calling him all the time, trying to catch him up on what’s going on in my life. Then a few months will go by where I haven’t talked to him at all.
My fiance and I are now buying a house, thought we were going with the USDA loan. They ran out of funds so now we are going FHA. Not thinking we needed to save for a down payment we are in a panic coming up with the money. My dad is giving me the money… years and years after not being able to help out financially he wants to just “give” me this money. I am so so so greatful, I started sobbing like crazy. Told him how thankful I was…
I feel weird accepting it though, I told him I could pay him back as soon as we receive our first time home buyer tax credit of 8k. But he said, he doesn’t do loans.. and to think of this as a house warming present. Am I just being ridiculous? Should I thank him over and over again and just accept this money?
you should accept it but if hes in big trouble financially you should help him back out when the time comes
see hes never been able to support you financially in your life so hes trying to do something good right now
trying to be someone for you he enver could be, i think you would be the nicer person by accepting it so he can get that feeling of helping you
Free money no matter where it comes from is always a good thing. I just hope I could do the same thing when my daughter gets to be your age.
part of it is guilt over not being in your life more, accept it and be happy about it.
Accept it – but realize that this is helping him more than you.
Accept the money–it doesn’t excuse him for not being there all those yrs though. I can not imagine all your mom Must have went through to do it all alone.
I believe that you already know the answer to your own question. According to you,your father was badmouthed by your mother who tried to poison your feelings for him and sort to portray him in a very negative fashion. I applaud you for being objective enough to see the true picture and not just go along with the standard reaction in these sort of issues in which children do not bother trying to find the truth and just resent and hate their father because that is what mother wants .Your father could not help you as much while you were younger and his gift to you is just that -a gift to his little girl for her own home to start her own family. He said it best when he said that he does not do loans;this is his own way of not only helping his daughter whom he obviously loves but to sort of make up for those times when he could not give you much in a financial manner. Thank him for his gift. However,I suspect that what your father truly wants is to continue to have a good father /daughter relationship with you .Let him give you away on your wedding day and then let him be not only the proud father that he is to have a daughter like you but a potentially good grand father as well. I wish you,your fiance,and your father all the best and hope your mother would be happy for you,get over her anger and hatred of your father and be glad that you two have a terrific relationship today.
Parents always willing to help their children if they can, maybe your dad couldn’t help you financially before because he don’t have it, now he have it and want to make it up.don’t tell him over and over again that you will pay back, it will hurt his feeling, cause he is giving that money out of love of you. and there is no way you can repay a parents love.
If you want to payback, see to it that you are there when he needs you, take good care of him when he is old and couldn’t take care of himself , i think that is the best thing a child can do to repay their parents.